snow and heartbreak

So let me tell you a little story...

I have always been okay with snow. Actually, it's more of a tolerance. However, this white sparkly wet stuff has caused me some heartache as of late.

I was destined to go to the blessed state of New Hampshire today. Yes, I should have been on a place right now. There is an incredible woman in my ward and her husband flies for Southwest. She was kind enough to offer a buddy pass to help me get there and back. Flying stand-by would be risky but oh what a risk I was willing to take. Tanner and I repeatedly referred to her as the "angel lady". Seriously, what a selfless, compassionate thing to do. She had the true spirit of Christmas and I will forever remember her kindness. So we looked at flights, things were looking great a week before and I was looking forward to my trip more than Christmas itself. (but really).

Then we saw the storm in the east. Nasty, nasty, ugly, snow closing down airports and making it virtually impossible to get out there. We thought the snow would be fine by Monday but in my heart I knew that all those unfortunate travelers from Sunday would be spilling over to hop onto the next flight, which would be Monday.

After hanging up the phone with Tanner Sunday night, assuring me that everything was going to work out, I got a dreadful text. The words were as crushing as I've ever heard. All the flights were booked, all the way out until Thursday. I laughed as I remembered Tanner's and my last words, "See you tomorrow!" So hopeful and full of joy. Then my laughter turned to tears as it hit me that I wasn't going out there to see him, to see his wonderful, beautiful family.

I wanted to throw up I felt so sick to my stomach. And yet, I know that I need to be here with my family. I need to make cinnamon rolls with my sisters, and sew aprons while watching Anne of Green Gables, read wonderful books and stay up late on New Years Eve greeted with a kiss from Cambria.

As silly as it sounds, I haven't cried this much over a boy...ever. And we'll see each other on Saturday, spend the rest of the weekend together and the next semester! Ha, love is weird.

Merry

Today as I was hustling and bustling along with everyone else to get last minute things (which proved perfectly successful), I re-realized what a happy thing it is to say, "Merry Christmas"! Such a wonderful expression can brighten anyone's day and when you hear it coming out of someone's mouth, it transforms your day into instant merriment. I was surprised to hear "Happy Holidays" come out of a seemingly grouchy woman and loved what a happy mood I transitioned into afterwords.

And what a funny word: Merry.
mer·ry
–adjective, mer·ri·er, mer·ri·est.
1.full of cheerfulness or gaiety; joyous in disposition or spirit: a merry little man.
2.laughingly happy; mirthful; festively joyous; hilarious: a merry time at the party.
3.Archaic . causing happiness; pleasant; delightful.

Laughingly happy. Hello! This is amazing! Or how about..."a merry little man"
Why can't we use this word every day? "How are you today?" "Oh, very merry thank you!"

So today I say, I hope you are very merry. I hope this season brings you an abundance of merriment, peace, and joy. And I hope you are finding out what joy truly is. Love is in the air as we celebrate family, friends and our Savior. You will find joy when you serve, for that is true love: sacrifice, selflessness and compassion.

Dentist

I went to the dentist today, got a free shirt (I chose pink) and am cavity free.
Let me tell you something. I was cavity free for 21 years. TWENTY-ONE years. Suddenly, six months ago I heard the words that forever changed my mouth's perfection. "You have a cavity". Oh wait, it actually went like this: "You have TWO cavities".
I teared up. Truly, I did.
But as I got those cavities filled I watch food network and enjoyed the laughing gas I was smothered with. I was okay.
I thought to myself that day, it's okay Katrina, your future husband will most likely have cavities and you can floss for the rest of your life and never have one again...

So Tanner, I must say good-bye to you, for you see you have a perfect mouth, cavity free and glowing white. ha jk, he doesn't even read this. ;)

I love the smell of sauteing onions.

Also, I have not cut my hair since I was a junior in high school. That's five years people. So...tomorrow I'm braving the scissors and I'm going to chop it. Kidding, I'm not chopping it but I am going to cut a good couple of inches off. Should I be scared? Maybe, but I'm more scared about my split ends. A couple weeks ago when I went in for my usual color and trim my lovely hair stylist and friend, (Polly-if you need someone go to her-for real) told me that I really need to get rid of the filth at the bottom of my hair. I thought that of course she was the only one who would notice because she just stares at my head whenever I see her. WRONG. Tanner even noticed. Well, I asked him and he gave me the honest reply. So tomorrow I will say ta-ta to my ugly split ends and hopefully have a fabulous new look.

I like the dentist, I like only having two fillings in my mouth, I like my new pink shirt, and I like Tanner.

HOME

foodnetwork.little brother+artichokes.apple pie.15ft+Christmas Tree.CT scan.wrapping presents.dog snuggles.Jo Stafford on repeat.heart felt talks.hot chocolate.dishwasher.smiles from Cami.thoughts of snow.piano music.crying.singing.psyche with g-man.blog stalking with Anne Shirley.dinner with parents.kneaders=5:30 am waking up. fireplace.welcoming dad home. wrestling.ornaments.cell phone retirement.snow...maybe?blankets.White Christmas.new recipes.laughing.snuggling.laundry.love.

I am so happy to be home.

sigh

I'm done.
Finals are over and oh my goodness does it feel good. I'm home, it's 1:36pm and I'm in my parents bed, watching Giada on food network and feel so very blessed. Eight finals later and I feel like I want to die. ha ha kidding, but really...Finals are hard.

I was walking around campus yesterday and I thought, I wonder if Cecil Samuelson (the president of BYU) prays for us this week. Strange? Maybe, but cool thought.

My Christmas break is going to be wonderful. Here's my list of things to do

Enjoy my family, first and foremost. I don't really think I'll see my friends besides the 872354 wedding receptions I will be attending.
Finish making family gifts
make Tanner's Christmas present. Oooh it's good, I'll show you a picture when it's finished :)
make hot pads
make a laundry bag
make more aprons
hem pants
cookbook-organize my recipes in a binder
work at kneaders making gift baskets
watch a lot of movies while I sew
watch food network a lot
make yummy food and ridiculous treats

This is mostly all to keep myself distracted while Tanner is home in New Hampshire... if you have any other projects I can work on please let me know.

Grandpa

sidenote: I am in college. I should not be doing busy work.

Okay so last week I had a wonderful opportunity to go down to St George and visit my boyfriend's extended family (He's from New Hampshire if you were wondering). Well I met his grandpa, Papa Andy as I will not refer to him as. What an interesting experience.
He is so awesome. He's funny, smart, caring and exactly what a grandpa should be. He taught me how to play the organ for an hour and talked with me about his career working for NASA. Ya, he's the guy that came up with the experiment to see if there was water on the moon. He's kinda a smartie pants. He taught me about geology and hiked up Angels landing with us. He baked us delicious cinnamon rolls (almost as good as yours moms but I still have my loyalties). He laughed with us and talked with us and made us go around in a circle and say what we were grateful for. But can I tell you a secret? I felt awkward.

I'll tell you why. I've never really had a grandpa. I didn't know how to act. I didn't know what my role was. I wanted so badly to call him my own grandpa, to have his love, care, and wisdom in my life. But I didn't have a familiar grandpa-granddaughter relationship to fall back on. I was lost.

My mom's father died when she was one in a plane accident. He was a pilot, he was handsome, an artist and undoubtedly an incredible man. I only wish I could have known him, but I wish my mom had known him more.

My dad's father was great. He lived in Utah while we lived in Arizona. We saw him only occasionally and I felt second best next to my cousins who grow up around him. Though I have one vivid memory of him brushing the thorns out of my feet in his backyard, I don't remember him from my childhood. I remember after moving to Utah his health declined, he became delusional and went mad. These are my memories of him. I watched him die peacefully surrounded by his family and I remember sitting there enveloped in joy and the thought that I would see him again. I had a feeling... "I don't really know this man". But I will know him as he was.

I didn't know my grandpa's. I hear stories of them and feel their love in my life and in their children who are my parents. I know they are a part of me, but I do not know them. I can not wait to know them. To hear their life stories. To share experiences with them and love them as the men they are. To know them personally and to learn from them and their examples. Thank you Papa Andy, for showing me how great grandpa's can be.

Just so you know...

I will be unavailable for the next week due to a crazy schedule. Christmas Around the World is this weekend at BYU in the Marriott Center-if you're in the area come! :)

So here's the run down of last week.
Tuesday night
Babysat dance teachers adorable four children with boyfriend. SO FUN
No storm...
Wednesday
Hair appointment
Shopping with my mother :)
Putting up posters to advertise for this weekend
Baking pies
Family Fun
Thursday
Ate too much turkey with family and boy
Played the bells
Friends house for more food
Wii
Friday
Up at 6-drive to St George with boyfriend, his sister and friend
Arrive at noon.
Drive to Zions at 12:02 pm
Hike Angels Landing
Almost die
Ice on the trail.
Awesome
Dinner, hot tub and laughs
Saturday
Another Thanksgiving dinner
Game
Learned how to play the Organ (thank you Papa Andy)
Another dinner, hot tub and laughs
Sunday
Church
Best drive home of my life
7 and a half hours later...
Dinner at my house with my family
Decorating our 15 foot Christmas Tree and then crashed at home

Wow. I am so grateful for such a great weekend. For spending time with people I love. For learning and for growing. For smiling and turkey and my body. To live

nothing

I have nothing witty or cute or funny to say.
So you may as well stop reading now.
Okay kidding. This may or may not be a great post.

about nothing.
here's my post about nothing, or rather, my list about nothing. You may have noticed that I like lists...I think in lists.

I love seeing people light up when they read letters
I love seeing people in love
I love being in love
I love typing-I always have. In elementary school we had this little program thing that taught us how to type. I loved it. And I would consistently type 100wpm+. A couple of summers ago I interviewed for a secretarial position and they asked me "what do you think is better, typing fast or typing without mistakes?" I replied, "Typing fast, because then you can press the delete key just as fast!" Surprisingly, I didn't get the job. They didn't understand my humor.
For the record, (what record anyway?) I would like my aunt's emerald ring as my wedding ring.
I love mashed potatoes. I can not wait for Thursday to consume them.
I would drink wine if I could. But only to enhance the flavors of the meal I would be eating. I was talking about this all weekend with the cute blond I've referred to before. He would too. Perfect match.
My sister is quite possibly the funniest person ever. I love her.
Come see Christmas Around the World next weekend at BYU. It is truly a wonderful show-you will be sad if you miss it.
"We need to be more grateful. It's one of the marks of strong character, to have a feeling of thanksgiving and gratitude for blessings that are ours. We need more of that spirit in our homes, in our daily associations, in church, everywhere. It's so easy to cultivate the spirit of appreciation." Ezra Taft Benson
Thank you

Chicken and Cheese Enchilada Chowder

Another recipe. Get excited.

This soup was done in the crock pot and although I have not consumed it yet, the smell is intoxicating and has been ever since I walked in my door. Which was at 4:30. Which is strange for me because I am usually never home before six. Ahem...

Throw together (seriously, just throw it in the crock pot-it will be more fun)
1 can black beans, drained/rinsed
1 can diced tomatoes, drained
1 package frozen corn
1/2 c. onion
1/2 c. pepper, chopped
1 10 oz. can enchilada sauce
1 can cream of chicken soup
2 cups milk

Let it cook all day on low
Half an hour before serving add:
1 c. pepperjack cheese
1 c. cheddar cheese
chicken, cooked, cubed
top with avocado, maybe some sour cream?

I can not wait to eat this.

Other things I did today:
finished a shirt. yes, I am very proud. I'm going to wear it tonight to Harry Potter
drank a delicious dark chocolate and berry jamba (perfect for dark chocolate lovers, such as myself)
danced for the ambassador of Slovakia. nbd.
bought some Christmas gifts...plus "Santa's North Pole Cookbook"-on sale
oh-did I mention I'm going to Harry Potter tonight? I haven't missed one yet.

Yes, I know. I have the best life

Death

We talked a little bit about death today in my family processes class and I just had some thoughts I wanted to share.

First off, my uncle taught me an important lesson when his third sister died, he told me, "Funerals are just merely a way to mark time". It is true. We have birthday parties to celebrate a new year of living and New Years to bring in a new, exciting year. So truly, funerals just mark time. They show us that this person's mortal life has ended and that something new awaits them.
But funerals are also a way to give family and friends a sense of closure. We mourn with one another, we send gifts and cards of condolence. We celebrate the life that person lived. They are rituals. Rituals are events or chains of events full of emotion and symbols. They happen within your family and have significance to you. The things you do for Thanksgiving are rituals. It would be strange if you didn't do turkey or if your crazy uncle Tim and cousin Bob didn't pull the wish bone, you know weird stuff like that. But it has meaning to you and you would feel incomplete without them.
So funerals are rituals. That's my point. But thinking about it, and the way funerals are now has made me realize something about our culture and the way we have evolved. There used to be things called funeral parlors in every home. When a family member died, those who came to pay their respects would come to the home, where the viewing would take place. They wouldn't go to a funeral home, where the crazy curtains and strangely patterned rugs were. The family members would carefully dress the body themselves and it was a ritual. A way to grieve and to let that person go. Now we let the professionals do everything. We have turf at the cemetery and we hardly ever see the casket enter the ground. Why is this?

I commented in class (and I never comment in this class) that it is not only because we are afraid as human beings of death but that we are also afraid of emotion. We are afraid that if we are grieving or even if we aren't grieving the way others think we should, that we are strange. Emotion is a sign of weakness isn't it? If men cry, they're babies. If we think something in life is hard, and show it to others, we aren't superwoman and we can't handle things. WRONG. Emotion is human. It is beautiful and it is real. We experience emotions to taste life. The happy times and more importantly the bad times. "Men are that they might have joy" (2 Nephi 2:25) but "there must needs be opposition in all things" (2 Nephi 2:11). We are given the ability to feel differing emotions to help us learn and I am grateful for it.

So back to funerals (this is kind of a strange topic, isn't it?). Why aren't we allowed to see the casket buried? Is it because it makes us feel something? We let the professionals take care of things because we're afraid that it will hurt too much. Rather than letting us have a cathartic experience, we "bury" our own emotions. Hiding away what we are really feeling. Isn't this the case with everything?

Let yourself be emotional. Experience joy and experience pain. Let yourself grieve in the way YOU need to grieve. Don't feel bad if you aren't crying over something, but don't feel bad if you are. And especially if you have recently lost someone or experienced change in life, let yourself feel things. Do not hide it. This doesn't mean that you should become ungrateful and blame others. Those are emotions that have evolved. They are not pure and they are not justified. But instead, realize that you are human and you have a great power when you acknowledge the growth that can occur when you feel things.

Thanksgiving Daily

Apple

Yesterday I ate the best apple I have ever had.

But it truly was the most amazing thing I've ever eaten. It was sweet, tangy, firm, and broke perfectly with each bite. I wanted to cry. In fact, as *we were driving down University Ave sharing an apple I was yelling...
"this is the best apple in the entire world! I love apples! GAHHHH I love my life"
I was so happy. And so was he. I like sharing.

Thank you apple, for making our night so wonderfully wonderful.


*we refers to the handsome blond boy I'm dating.

Christmas List

My mother always asks me to make a Christmas List for her early in the season...which I never do. This year, I made an exception.
Here are a couple things that I'm pining for...

Although it's way too expensive (even though it's on sale) I still really like it. Thank you, anthropologie for making me covet. The best part about this sweater? Those little pockets you are having a hard time seeing are little coin purses. Gah. I love it.

A rice cooker. I like eating rice. But I think I would like it even more if I could just throw it in the rice cooker.

A couple cookbooks-what's new

I'm also planning on make some hot pads and a couple aprons during Christmas break.
I'm excited...and I'll probably splurge and make some more strawberry jam. I've been eating way too many pb&j sandwiches lately. Good thing I love them.

And as a poor college student I have to be creative with my gifts to my family members. So what's something cheap and useful? I'm seriously considering making those little rice bags you can heat up in the microwave-personalized with different fabric of course. That's practical and hey! I told you I liked rice!

What are giving to those you love this year? And what's something on your Christmas Wish list?

Christmas Music

I really don't care if you don't like Christmas music before the fourth Friday of November. I'm listening to it. Right now. And I love it. I used to be a stickler on not listening to it prematurely but then I thought, there are so many beautiful, beautiful Holiday songs that I only get to enjoy for one month. Out of twelve? Then I have to listen to the other stuff for ELEVEN MONTHS? That is ridiculous. If you know math at all, you know that this ratio is completely unfair. So this year, I will listen to it for two months.

I'm suddenly transported to a lovely winter-y day, snow falling and my family close by...not to mention a lot of food. (side note-listen to Jo Stafford's Happy Holidays CD this year if you can).Christmas music makes me feel happy, joy, peace and in love with life.

Music is powerful. It invokes deep emotion. It is art. It is a way to express human experiences, memories and testimonies and if I can listen to songs about my Savior Jesus Christ for one extra month, I'm going to.

You know that feeling when...

you wake up to that perfectly wonderful text?
you listen to Christmas music?
you are walking to school and the leaves are swirling around you?
you sit and sing songs with your family?
you take a bite of that wonderful apple pie you just made?
you see a rainbow?
you read an incredible quote-timed just right for your life?
you see a long lost friend and it feels like time hasn't past?

That's God.

Get a Clue

Remember that Disney Channel original movie? It had Lindsey Lohan, and Bug Hall (Alfalfa from little rascals) in it. Funny.
Okay, that's not the reason I'm writing this post.

CLUE-the board game-is by far the spookiest game to play by candle light. I loved it. I played twice with a cute boy-lost twice to this cute boy but still loved every minute of it. Professor Plum is extremely menacing in the candle light and Ms. Scarlet looks even more slinky in her red dress. It's quite the experience. Next year, put it on your list of things to do to celebrate Halloween.

Also, Despicable Me is such a funny, sweet movie. I loved it.

And my mom's mummified meatloaf, paired with bloody mashed potatoes is the best. (my dad thought adding drops of red food dye to the bowl would be funny-it was) My mother is really quite pretty when she's wearing black lipstick. And my family is just a lot of fun.



pumpkin cream cheese muffins (delicious!)

Bring on Thanksgiving and November-I'm so ready :)

Nightmare

I had a nightmare that I lost all my followers on this little blog. I know. All 31 of you. And somehow I was so worried.

My next nightmare included my friend Mike Romney. He was just in my bathroom, cleaning the toothpaste off the toothpaste tube. Just sitting there, staring at me through the mirror, cleaning. It was scary.

Then I had a nightmare that all my cake pops that I made turned out awful. Wait, that wasn't a nightmare. It really happened. So now I have two huge trays of cake pops sitting outside (There wasn't room in my freezer and outside works just as well). They still taste good, but they aren't very pretty and I am too prideful to serve something that is ugly. But I did buy cute little mini cupcake liners, Halloween style... I guess this just means I have to make another Halloween type treat.

Tonight I'm carving pumpkin and maybe watching an old Alfred Hitchcock short film. Tomorrow? Who knows? Grocery shopping, lesson planning, homework and a show? Maybe I'll even dress up. I don't know, the only way I'm feeling Halloween-y is through my cooking. What are you doing this weekend? Any fun ideas?

Thoughts

My wise uncle once taught me, "Funerals are just simply a way to mark time".
The only way to dispel darkness is to bring in light.
It sometimes scares me when people get engaged after knowing each other for only two months. Not saying it can't and won't work. But sometimes, I just get scared.
Hard work is hard but it's the only way to be successful
Never curse a broken heart-having the ability to love is one of our most God-like attributes.
Staying up too late makes your brain fuzzy and you say silly things. Worth it.
We always have a choice. Always.

This is a happy weekend. Lots of rain, a clean apartment, Cornbelly's tonight and relaxing at home with dear friends. October truly is my favorite month.

Check out tastespotting.com :) You'll love it!

Praying for Paxton

Everyone needs to know this story, and we all need to be praying for Paxton.
I am blessed to know this family personally. They live down the road from us and my mom and Shannon are very good friends. Their two older boys are sooo much fun to watch and they have an amazing story to share. They were just on ksl news... so here's the video clip and check out her blog for some inspiration. daveandshannonnorton.blogspot.com


ksl.com - Family praying for infant with extremely rare disorder

Kind of puts your life into perspective huh? I can't watch this without feeling complete peace. I know that those with disabilities have the gift of love. We are blessed to be surrounded by them. I am blessed to be an older sister to a "spiritual celebrity". What an extraordinary family, so much faith and love.

Parisian Love

I love this video. It was shown in my religion class (yes, I'm taking marriage and family-it's awesome). Just a happy little video.

I had a happy weekend visiting my family and spending time with people I care about. :) Not enough sleep so I'm considering a 9:30 crash time tonight. Hope your weekend was fun and that you are finding love.

I'm a Senior

So here I am in the fourth year of college. I should be graduating this spring right?
wrong.
I love when people ask "what year are you?" I reply, "I'm a senior!" *then people get really excited and ask, "oh does that mean you're graduating this spring? That is SO exciting!" I just laugh and say, "no, I have another two and a half years."

People, this is what happens when you change your major half way through your Junior year. And your major is a five year program. But I don't care. Not at all.
Today I caught a glance at the end. As I was planning my next semester, I planned the rest of my college life. I see the end. And I'm excited. I don't regret changing my major because I love the classes I'm taking. I love sewing and interior design, observing cute preschoolers and cooking. Why would I ever want to leave this blessed school? Maybe provo...but that's another story. :)

Oh and another factor in my delayed graduation? Over 20 dance classes, and 10+ credits of unneeded credit.

I like learning.

Step aside Cafe Rio...

Okay friends this is the first time I'm going to share a recipe here. And I hope to do so many more times...
I made this salad tonight. Delicious. All my roommates asked to eat some (and they liked it) and this really cute boy asked if I could bring him some at work...hmmm we'll see. ;)

Black Bean and Avocado Salad with Cilantro Dressing
total time: 30 min
makes: 4 servings

Cilantro Dressing
2 limes
1/4 cup light mayonnaise
1/2 cup packed fresh cilantro leaves
2 T reduced-fat sour cream
1/2 t. ground cumin
1/4 t. sugar
1/8 t. salt
1/8 t. coarsely ground black pepper

Salad
1 small head romaine lettuce cut into 3/4-in pieces (8 cups)
2 medium tomatoes, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
2 Kirby cucumbers (4 ounces each), not peeled, each cute lengthwise into quarters, then crosswise into 1/4-inch pieces
1 ripe avocado, pitted, peeled, and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 can (15 to 19 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained
( you can really add whatever you want... I added green onions and some chicken)

1. Prepare dressing: From limes, grate 1/2 teaspoon peel and squeeze 3 tablespoons juice. In blender, combine all ingredients. Scrap down the sides if needed. Cover and refrigerate if not using right away. Makes about 1/2 cup.
2. Prepare salad: In large serving bowl, toss lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, avocado, and beans with dressing until well coated.

Hello! Delicious!
Try it...I dare you

Also I'm updated my life...This is mostly for you my dear freshman roommate (you know who you are pretty girl).

So last Friday I went to a homecoming dance with said boy, covered apples with sticky caramel and bruised my knees. Saturday found me dressing up as a Ukrainian and walking around in the parade handing out balloons to really cute kids, watching BYU win the game, a freshman year reunion (I couldn't remember many people's names...oops), and watching Nightmare Before Christmas with some fun friends.
Sunday=church (amazing), dinner at a friend's grandma's, pumpkin bars (heaven), and a swan princess.

My life is good. Oh so very good.

Dodging Raindrops

I love the rain

And I was thinking about something today as I walked around in the drizzle. We try to avoid getting wet right? We pick up our pace, walk where it's dry and carry umbrella's. It's logical, we don't like to get wet. It's uncomfortable, takes a long time to dry off and we end up looking really messy.
Here's my point...
We can't continually dodge problems we will face in life. It's scary. We don't like getting wet. We don't like making mistakes, we don't like being affected by someone else's mistakes but golly! Just because you may do something wrong and get "wet" doesn't mean you won't eventually dry off. You'll change your clothes and become a new person. And you'll probably even enjoy those dry warm clothes a lot more because you were wet before.

Life is wet sometimes. And sometime it's hard. But I guarantee it's worth it.


Embrace the rain.

Happiness inside and out

I'm sitting in the Harold B. Lee Library, homework completed, waiting for my class to start, and I found this quote, by they man himself.

"Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but on what happens inside of you. It is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life."

I just wanted to share that.

a new crock-pot recipe book, my lovely family, performing with my best friends, my freshman year reunion on Saturday (ha!), when other people are happy, my love of nature, when people look at me on campus and aren't lost in their own world with their i-pod, knowing that I can feel true joy forever.

Also, this weather makes me really happy
so does studying with blond boys.

So what's happening inside of you that is making you truly happy?

It's 11:00

I'm still in bed.
It's a school day
that starts at one pm (thursdays are great)
This weekend is conference
I have a really great life

Now I just have to decided what to be for Halloween...
what are you dressing up as?

Confessions

I hardly ever shave my knees
I have a messy room but I make my bed (most days)
I want to collect tea cups but I only have one
I love it when people tell me stories
I don't squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom (sue me)
I don't like saltine crackers
I just recently started liking pb&j
I woke up this morning really really excited about winter (this is strange)
I don't like ice-cream or very many sweets for that matter
I will always choose classical music
I have a huge problem sharing recipes
I'm going to try and share some soon...
I really enjoy weeding
I like doing voices
I am dramatic in moving vehicles especially if I'm not comfortable with the driver
I enjoy reading people magazine at the hairdressers, and wherever else I can find it

What are some of your confessions?

awkward story

I went into the SWKT the other day (ps...my dad claims he named it that) excited to work on a homework assignment. I went down to the open labs where I've gone many times before. Set my stuff down, used the restroom, (tmi?...I told you it was an awkward story) and came back to my computer. Started doing my assignment. Suddenly a professor stands up, and says,
"okay class, let's get started"
ahhhh I was in a class.
They opened up an excel sheet and started going.
I had two options, walk out now and just feel strange or grin and bear it.
I grinned, and enjoyed the class.
I finished my assignment, shopped a bit online and occasionally looked up at the teacher to nod like I knew what was going on. He appreciated it. I could tell.
When he said to "pull our your books and do a problem on your own" I pretended to open my book and look very interested. I was secretly terrified he would come back and see I was looking at a book about the appropriate ways to teach children. But he did not.
I left at 2:53. I'm not sure if the class was over but I had class at 3.
What a silly experience.

I'm fallin' for fall

my favorite
crunchy leaves
orange red
warm cardigans
closed shoes
pumpkin cookies
brown yellow
grateful hearts
raking leaves
running noses
bipolar weather
warm soup
it's fall

A Day in the Life...

Today was a very happy day. It was sunny, gorgeous and a Thursday. All happy things.
I woke up around 9:30, a very welcome sleep-in after last night's opening performance of World of Dance...(here's my shameless plug for that-Come! It runs through Saturday at BYU and is an exceptional show!)
I called lost and found (an inspired thought to find some long lost articles of clothing) and they were there! They had held my favorite cardigan:

and a white skirt with thin, black vertical stripes. It had been three months! I lost them when I was a counselor for sports camps this summer. Yay!
I rode my beautiful beach cruiser to campus as soon as I found out they were there, so I could wear my lovely, newly found articles of clothing. I was a happy girl.
I went up to campus early to print off a paper in the library and stopped by the little sale going on. Bought two scrapbooking accessories for a dollar. Yesss.
Saw two handsome men at the library. Double yes.
Proceeded to follow these men across campus. Don't worry, I wasn't creeping. We were thankfully on the same path. Parted ways.
After a lovely marriage and family class I cashed a check (I appreciate money) and bought another cookbook. It's a good one.
Went to the library and read ahead in a class. Man-does that feel good! Bought a BBQ wrap after my mother told me to eat lunch (it's two o'clock pm, mind you). I ate this wrap under a tree, reading a book and loving life.
Family Processes class. I got mad. We'll save those thoughts for another day.
Home. Happiness. Dance show tonight. Best friends. Mom. Sister. Fake Eyelashes (I secretly love them).
Might I add that throughout this day I ran into many dear friends. Old roommate, friend from the summer, friend from my youth (first boy I ever slapped...), friend from pre-school, lots of friends.
I'm really happy. I'm really blessed. And I'm really really happy I found that cardigan.

fear

When I first began this post my intention was to make a list of my fears. My physical, emotionally, and spiritual fears. Then I read this quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself but share your courage with others." ~Robert Louis Stevenson
We're all human. We all fear things. Whether it be our fear that we will fail a test, the fear that we may get hurt when snowboarding, fear that someone won't like you back, the fear we have of bugs *ahem worms*, or the fear that we may be embarrassed in front of a crowd. But aren't those fears kind of silly? Those fears are mostly linked to our human pride. We can get over those things. We can take classes and listen to lectures and learn about our fears, find the root of them and rip them out.
"If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all thinking, damages his personality and makes him a landlord to a ghost." ~Lloyd Douglas
And what about other deeper fears? The fear of the unknown. The fear of your future, the fear that you may not be good enough. The fear that you may make the wrong decision when choosing your future spouse, the fear that your children may choose to not obey, fear of the economy, the fear that you'll let a loved one down, fear of death. Fear that you won't make ends meet, and maybe you even fear yourself, because you know, you could turn out really wonderful.
Let's talk about another word beginning with F.
Faith.
"There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid." ~Frederick W. Cropp
How do we rid ourselves of fear? Through faith. Through our trust in a higher being.
"He who has faith has... an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly." ~B.C. Forbes
We don't know everything that will happen tomorrow. We don't even know where we'll be at the end of this week. But I can promise you that if you dwell on your fears, and let them take over your thoughts, they will destroy you. I can also promise you that faith will make your fears small. Faith combined with action will make your fears dissipate. You will believe in yourself. You'll live up to your potential. You will look at the future and smile, trusting that God will take care of you, and that the fear you feel is not from Him.
"Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there." ~Author Unknown

Chopped

I feel like I should tell you about a lovely little "game" my family and I played on Labor Day. If you didn't know this... I love food network. It's the only thing I watch on TV. AND there is this great show called Chopped on late late at night. (My siblings and I would watch it during the summer when we had no responsibilities. sigh.) In any event, it's a show with four people each challenged to make three different dishes. The first round is the appetizer. They have three secret ingredients they have to use. They're judged and one person is "chopped". Then they do the entree. Someone is "chopped". It's super dramatic and quite entertaining. Then the last two make a dessert. Then you have a winner.
So we played this game. My parents shopped at Macey's while we ran around the store listening to bottles (more on that later) then judged our dishes when they were finished. We had teams:

Anne and G-man

Natalie and Cousin Daniel

Cami and Me (you may think I was at a disadvantage...but I was, I mean, wasn't.)

The two rounds included an Entree using: pork, red potatoes, water chestnuts and smoked canned oysters. Talk about sick. I shall curse those oysters for a long time. Anna and Garrett were chopped ever so dramatically (my dad is good at the whole "pretend you're on a TV show and act like a menacing host, pausing at all the right moments")
The next round we had to make a dessert with peaches (hard as rock, I might add), croissants, and red hot candy. Garrett was placed on my team since Cami decided she wanted to make her own concoction. Daniel and Natalie put up a good fight but in the end, Garrett and I pulled through.

We had a lot of fun, made a mess, washed lots of dishes, laughed and learned a lot! We're definitely going to be doing this more often. :)

Practical Happenings

I just keep thinking how great Fall is. I love the feeling of a brisk walk (up) onto campus, the cool air and crunchy leaves. Maybe I love fall so much because I've always enjoyed school, either way it's my most favorite season. October reigns supreme.
So school. School is really fun. I picked the most amazing major for me-FACS ED. That's short for Family and Consumer Science Education. That's long for a Home Economics Teacher. AKA. I'm going to teach foods in high school. Practically perfect if you ask me. In any event I'm loving my classes and loving the useful and practical things I'm learning...get it? PRACTICALLY perfect. LOVE this quote from Spencer W. Kimball, "The treasures of both secular and spiritual knowledge are hidden ones-but hidden from those who do not properly search and strive to find them...Spiritual knowledge is not available merely for the asking; even prayers are not enough. It takes persistence and dedication of one's life...of all treasure of knowledge, the most vital is the knowledge of God."
Also, I deleted my facebook. I'm serious when I say it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I suddenly have so much more time (imagine that!...don't worry, I still spent 14 hours on campus yesterday) and I am trying hard to work on my person to person relationships.
Write a letter to someone you love today. Remind them that someone cares for them.

Printed Pages

BYU bookstore has this great thing...a 75% off bargain section. Because goodness knows we (ahem...I) can't afford a regular priced book. I mostly buy cookbooks. However, the other day I came across one entitled, Where Books Fall Open a reader's anthology of wit and passion. I bought it. I'm really happy with it. It says it's for lovers of reading. I love reading.

"All good books have one thing in common-they are truer than if they had really happened, and after you have read one of them you will feel that all that happened, happened to you and then it belongs to you forever."
Ernest Hemingway

Fatigued? Maybe.

You know that feeling where you're completely exhausted, and your mind doesn't string complete sentences, let alone logical thoughts together? And your body is so sore you forgot you had certain muscles?

Well, that's how I feel. And, I love it.


(http://audreyhepburncomplex.tumblr.com)

I think this means I have an awesome life.

21 21 21

Things I am grateful for on my 21st Birthday
1. Cambria Joy Lewis. Cami just called me sang a lovely rendition of "Happy Birthday" and then asked what shoe size I was, because she's getting me flip-flops for me. She then replied, "six and a half? Ok, bye!" and hung up. She makes me smile. I love her for her giggles during "make 'em laugh" in Singing in the Rain, her crinkled nose when she smiles. Her angelic nature, making up dances with her. Kissing her on the cheek when she's sleeping. When she randomly looks at me and says, "Katrina, I love you."
2. Natalie Rose Lewis. This girl is on fire. Forget Katniss, she's the one you want to be afraid of. She's a powerhouse on the soccer field and has the brains and looks to go with it. She's seriously the whole package. She's also extremely sweet and is an exceptional listener. I love her work ethic, determination, sensitivity to the spirit and her beautiful blue eyes.
3. Garrett John Lewis. G-man. Love his silly texts, the example he is to his friends and his integrity. What an incredible friend. I love talking to my brother, I love looking up to him (not only physically but spiritually as well). He is a lady killer. Really though, he has the best hair in the world and a smile that will make you melt. Want to know the best part about him? He lives his testimony.
4. Anna Elizabeth Lewis. Where do I even begin? She is exceptionally beautiful. A patient and calming person who knows how to make me feel happy. I love singing/playing the piano with her. I love how she is such an incredible friend. She sets an amazing example for those around her, including me. She's a born leader and leads with love, compassion, patience and understanding. Talk about a babe.
5. Celeste Marguerite Lewis. If I can be half the woman my mother is, I know I will have succeeded. Our chiropractor told me the other day, "if your mother doesn't go straight to heaven, I don't know anyone who will." It's true. My mom listens, then she serves. She is compassionate like no one else. She is empathetic, she is self-less. She is silly. She is patient. Please be my mom's friend, she will change your life.
6. David Conley Lewis. I'm bias, it's true but I'm pretty sure I have the best father. The best father for me at least. He is so smart. He is such a good provider, and is such an incredible teacher. He is the best study buddy and the funniest dancer. He leads our family patiently and through his example. He is a real friend and a concerned dad. Boy, do I love him.
7. Friends. You're bored of reading this, I know. Friends are angels and mine were hand picked for me. I have so many good people to look up to.
8. My body, and the freedom I have to move, to express myself and explore other cultures. Dance.
9. BYU. SO AWESOME. ps... I have the best major.
10. Food, cooking for others, seeing people happy
11. My eyes. For the ability to read, and see the world around me
12. My ears. Listening is very important to me, so is understanding.
13. Learning
14. My hands. I'm trying hard to give them up and make them not my own.
15. My heart, my ability to feel emotions. The opportunities I have to feel what others feel. My ability to love and feel love.
16. Laughter, the best stress reliever
17. Words and the affect they have on me and others
18. Music-powerful, powerful stuff
19. Flowers, mostly peonies
20. The Gospel, the knowledge I have and the opportunities I have to live truth and share it with others.
21. My life. What an incredible 21 years it has been. I feel so blessed to be where I am at this time. There's nothing else I'd rather be doing, and no other people I'd rather surround myself with. What an incredible thing life truly is.

I've Sold my Soul

To a man...
Named Edwin.
He's very tall, graying and sports glasses
He likes to dance.
In fact,
I've spent 35 hours dancing with him in the last
four days
I can not ever get away.


I always knew what I was getting into when I started dancing with the Performing Arts Company at BYU. I knew I would sell my soul. And I was prepared for the worst but do you know what? I LOVE IT. I love feeling sore. I love my ice baths...they hurt soo good. I love smiling/grimacing at other dancers as the sweat races down our cheeks. Here's a well kept secret-girls don't glisten. Especially if they're doing a Romanian dance. I'm happy.

Forgiveness: My Burden Was Made Light

Thoughts for the Weekend

Boating vs. little brother's fundraiser for Eagle Scout Project? CAR WASH fundraiser. duh! Family first
Read "the five people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom. It will actually change your life
I sometimes like old friends better than new ones
I have a week and a half before I go back to school
PS did I tell you I'm going to Europe next summer?
My mom has really pretty curly hair
Dipping chocolate is hard to find but boy is it worth it!
I would like to see the beach soon
Frozen Charleston Chews are my new favorite
I will never ask these questions to people again: "what's your major?" what have you been doing this summer?" "where are you living in the fall?" "are you dating anyone?" I've got to come up with better questions...especially because I'm going to a high school choir reunion tonight...um...I might have to ask some of those questions
I like being one of the few left of my grade who aren't married. I get all my best friends who just got home from their missions all to myself. it's da best.
Life is wonderful. I have got it made.

Jade, Lara, Annie and me
Newport Beach, April 2010

Pearls and a Beautiful Day

Something you need to know before you read this: I love pearls.

Yesterday my dear friend and I decided we would journey to Logan, UT and then to Bountiful to visit two of Utah's beautiful temples. It was truly a perfect day.

While in Bountiful we stopped by a couple antique stores. I had to talk myself out of a few purchases...but I'm going back, don't you worry. I found a beautiful old typewriter-40 dollars. Seriously people. The second store we went to was magical. It was a huge house just full of old furniture, including painted pianos, old chandeliers, gorgeous original paintings and tea cups galore (I was in heaven!) We were having fun squeezing through this old house when I felt like we really needed to find the owner so I looked around the corner and found the CUTEST old man sitting on his laptop in the midst of these beautiful treasures.

I stuttered a "hello?" and he immediately invited us in, showing us his personal favorites. I was transported through history as he told us the details of each piece, complete with stories. I suddenly wished I was rich. Rich enough to buy everything in the store, I wanted it all.

I asked how he got involved in the business and he entertained us with a story of his first purchase. He was in 8th grade! He bought an original painting for $15 then proceeded to sell it for $300 to a wealthy neighbor. His dad was so mad at his for buying such a "worthless" piece of art but after his son but the $300 dollars on his plate at dinner he changed his mind. What a story!

Then this adorable man in his cute blue puma shoes (he was stylin') told me all about his amazing wife, and how she had died eight years ago. His loneliness was evident and it nearly broke my heart. We found some old jewelry and it sparked his memory.

He told us the story of "the pearls". This wonderful man and husband sneakily bought his wife $1,500 pearls. She had fallen in love with them earlier in the day. They had 6 kids but he wanted his wife to have these pearls she loved so much. Is that not the sweetest thing in the world? (Obviously they had enough to make such a large purchase).

Every person has a story to share. I am so happy I was able to lend my ears to this wonderful man and hear some of his. I'm going back to hear some more...and to buy some more teacups.

I'm not dead

Hi.
What an incredible week it's been. I'm probably one of the most blessed people in the universe. Really.

Here are a couple reasons why...
1. I have the best family in the world. You've probably heard this before, by every other person you know. They're probably right. But I'm right too. Let me explain. I have the best family for me, in my world. We have the perfect balance of personalities. We teach each other. We lift each other. We cry with each other. But I know that I have my mother for a reason. That my dad is the way he is for a purpose. That my siblings are who they are, and going through the things in their lives at this time, in order that our lives, which are intertwined perfectly, can be the way they were designed to be.

2. God is real. He has a plan for us. There is a reason obedience is the first law in heaven. Once we realize this, and that God loves us, everything falls into place. It may not be the place we were expecting, or want but it is the place they are supposed to fall to.

3. Time is such a human thing.

and, timing is everything.

4. I am passionate about education. I am passionate about learning and teaching. I want nothing more than to be a teacher. A teacher of foods (that's my major fyi) and a teacher for my children. But before I can teach I must first learn. I love learning about and from people. My mother taught me that being humble means being teachable. I'm not a perfect learner yet, but I hope that I will always be a good listener and that I will continue to learn from the most perfect teacher.

5. "As a sister in the gospel, you render compassionate service to others for reasons that supersede desires for personal benefits. In this you emulate the Savior, who, though a King, did not seek position, nor was He concerned about whether others noticed Him. he did not bother to compete with others. His thoughts were always tuned to help others. He taught, healed, conversed, and listening to others. He knew that greatness had little to do with outward signs of prosperity or position. He taught and lived by this doctrine: 'He that is greatest among you shall be your servant'. In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us; and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers."
I just found this quote by President Uchtdorf. I love it, now I'm going to try to live it.

Combo

So there's no such thing as a perfect man...but I can dream right?

Bachelor #1-I would take your good looks, sense of humor, and laid back personality.
Bachelor #2-Please contribute the love of your family, work ethic, friendship, awkwardness, and your ridiculous smile.
Bachelor #3-I love your caring nature, quiet concern, your laugh and silly quirks.
Bachelor #4-Your strength of character, love for others, deep conversion and compassion attract me to you.

Okay, so now I must become this person. Wish me luck.

Single-ness

1. I don't like being single
b. Family is the best
3. Actions speak louder than words
d. Games are for insecure people
5. I may or may not be insecure sometimes.
f. Making yourself vulnerable again is hard. I do not like it.
7. I love trusting trustworthy people. Here's the catch: not everyone is trustworthy
h. Timing is everything
9. We were not made to be single.
j. Dating=School for the soul
11. People are really awesome. I love people
l. Free dinners are GOOOOD
13. Feeling inferior is a form of pride.
m. I am prideful
15. In order for a muscle to grow, it must break. Yes, the heart is a muscle. I learned that from the best man I know.

Hello, I'm 14 again

And...the most awkward person award goes to...
Yours Truly.

Really though, I am sometimes an awkward person. When I don't know what to say to people I just either act super silly or I get really quiet and forget how to activate my vocal chords. This doesn't happen very often, but when it does it's bad. Like really bad.

I had an awkward night tonight. My stomach was like butterfly central. They were chaotic. It made me want to throw up and laugh all at the same time. Weird. So naturally, I was quiet. And then beat myself up about it. WHAT IN THE WORLD?

I need to snap out of it. I think as human beings we think too much. We are critical...remember how I was going to try and not be critical of myself. Oops.
We over-analyze. Calm down. Relax. Deep breaths. Life is good. Just because you were weird for one night doesn't mean the world is ending. Being silly is good right?

Oh. I just got this bike :)


What do you do when you have awkward, freezing moments...I'm needing some help.

It started at 6 am

Oh today was a great day.

I was babysitting my sister and I went outside to find her facing the street singing the National Anthem at the top of her lungs. I watched her for a while and couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably to myself. I wanted to cry at the same time. It was such an incredible moment and I wish I could relive it again and again.

I really love looking at stars too. And throwing fun parties. I have some pretty incredible friends.

Kind-of nervous for tonight. First PAC rehearsal.
One of my best friends is getting married tomorrow. I can't wait. La la la
I have a really great life. You do too, don't you?

Critically Thinking...

Whyy are we trained as human beings to be so critical?

I took a class while I was a dance major that taught us how to analyze dances. Great skill. Fast forward to me sitting in a concert, trying to enjoy a dance piece. Impossible.

We're taught to be critical of movies. Be honest, you always read rotten tomatoes before you go see a movie. Unless it's Eclipse. You go hoping your $8.50 will be worth it and even if it isn't, you go again the next week. But the minute you get out of a movie you're dissecting each element of the film in your head, and then in the car ride home with your friends.

And you write critical papers. Your TA's want you to "think deeper". To look at things from another perspective. Good for your education. Not good with human beings.

So then you go on a date. Tricky huh? Cuz you can't be picky. But you're watching the way he eats, if he opens the door and everything he's saying. You're also observing his body language. Does he like you? Will you get to go out again (calm down, you just got your menu)? Post date, how are his texts? His response time? Wow we just can't enjoy an evening can we? We're being those critical thinker's we've been trained to be.

Oh and now you're looking in the mirror. Guess what happens? I don't need to tell you what happens. You're squishing and touching your face, looking at it from different angles, making faces and you're not happy. You're being critical.

I'm going to try this week to not be so critical. I'm not going to critical of my friends, of movies, of boys and especially myself.

Let things be the way they are. Enjoy them.

Summer is the best

Driving is one of the most relaxing things.
Especially when you're driving in an open jeep, on a cool summer night.



Pure Bliss.

Some things that have been bothering me lately...

WHY in the world does a place called Del Taco sell hamburgers?

As I was driving past a cemetery, I passed a beautiful memorial for a man named Joseph Adams. I didn't even know who this man was but he undoubtedly died for this country. How unfortunate that I could not identify this man but could tell you where Kate and her eight children live. Something is so wrong with that.

Some things that have been making me smile lately...


FRIENDS. Can I tell you that I have incredible friends? They know exactly what I need, when I need it. Angels...I'm serious.

My mother. What a compassionate, inspiring, beautiful friend and counselor she is. She is SO wise.

Cami Cooster. I really like her. I really like swimming with her. And I especially love her hugs.

Homemade ice-cream. Enough said.

Nertz a mindless, lovely, time wasting game.

Jane Austen, she never lets me down and has the most delicious way with words.

Lists. They are easy.

The most amazing sunset I saw the other night. It was like lemons, oranges and everything extraordinary rolled into one. Speaking of rolling. I really like rolling down hills...especially when I get to reenact that scene from the Princess Bride.

Fortune Cookies=tender mercies

sidenote: I really like blogging but I like creating things with my hands more. So I started a "pretty things journal". You can see it whenever you want. I think it will make YOU smile.

Hope

Remember what you feel while watching this beautiful and comforting video.




Also, angels are real.
Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Ministry of Angels,”

Mud and Bugs

Some truths and a lie
1. I have weeded for over 6 hours in the last two days
2. Cleaning big houses is fun for the first three hours.
3. I have some of the best friends in the world
4. Toy Story 3 is my new favorite movie
5. Getting eaten alive while watching a movie, surrounded by wonderful friends is worth it. But you can't roll down the big hill :(
6. I saw a boy I was set up with long ago last night. Never thought I would. We didn't speak. It was better that way.
7. When you're going on a blind date, go to ice-cream or an hour long lunch. Less time is better. MUCH BETTER.
8. The card game of "golf" is my new favorite.
9. My uncle's cabin is medicine for the soul.
10. I won a free snow cone at snoasis.

Disney may be part of family destruction...

I was watching Sleeping Beauty the other day with a dear friend and we discovered something awful...Take a look and see how Disney portrays the family to children and audiences everywhere.


Bambi-Only Mom...and then she dies
Cinderella-Her father dies so she gains a step mother and sisters. Never a mention of a mother.
Alice in Wonderland-Family but never seen
Sleeping Beauty-Mother and Father but raised by Fairies
Peter Pan-No parents
Fox and the Hound-Nothing
The Little Mermaid-One Father
Tarzan-No parents, raised by a gorilla…hmmm
Anastasia-Orphan
Pinocchio-Father
Aristocats-Just a mother
Lion King-Father dies, raised by two male animals
Aladdin-Orphan and Jasmine only has her father
Beauty and the Beast-Only her dad
Snow White-Step mother
Robin Hood-No family
Sword and the Stone-No family
Lady and the Tramp-Mom, Dad AND a Baby
101 Dalmatians-Family. Why are the animals the only ones with family?
Mary Poppins-Mom and Dad, raised by Nanny
Jungle Book-Orphan who was raised by animals
Finding Nemo-Only a dad
Toy Story-Andy has a mom but only her voice is ever heard
Bug’s Life-Princess Atta has her mom
Cars-um, can cars have parents?
Up-Russell’s dad left
Monster’s-Boo’s parents aren’t mentioned

Kinda strange don't you think?
I love Disney. Duh. I went through every single cartoon Disney in my mind and thought of this. I'm not saying we shouldn't let little kids watch these movies either. That's CRAZY. But...media has a huge influence on our lives. Let's just be careful we're not letting these sweet cartoons feed us an alternative message. Man, the devil is sneaky.

a comforting thought

"I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable"
Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Cat Woman

Okay so I pulled up to Red Mango tonight and saw a couple sitting there, right by the window. I turn to my mom and sisters and say,
"Wow, they are definitely on their first date"
The girls all agreed and we went inside. I thought nothing more of it.
Fast forward fifteen minutes... We're sitting there, enjoying our frozen yogurt, wishing they had their little fire going (in summer...) and my mom says,
"Oops! You were wrong, they're married and she is WAY pregnant."

Guess I learned (yet again) that you can't jump to conclusions about people's backgrounds, life stories, but most importantly, relationship status'.

People probably look at me and think I'm a nun.

Also, you know those decals people put on the back of their SUV's that show all their family members and they stretch the whole width of the car? My sister said she saw one the other day with a woman and a cat.

Sad to be all alone in the world. Fifty pennies if you can guess that movie.

meh

Alice came to my Tea Party

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." -The White Queen

1. There is a drink that makes you shrink
2. And a cake that makes you grow
3. Animals can talk
4. A cat that can disappear
5. There is a place called underland
6. I can slay the jabberwalkie



What did you think of before you ate breakfast this morning?

Create

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before."



"Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter."



"If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it."



Create something new today

[All photos taken from audreyhepburncomplex.tumblr.com]

[All quotes by Dieter F. Uchtdorf]

rewind

Let's go back to a month ago...

My computer died. Well, the charger died so a week before finals I was left computerless. I felt awkward blogging from a computer in the library. So here's a recap of what has happened in the past hmmm 5 weeks?

finals
junior year complete
road trip to California
beach
DISNEYLAND DISNEYLAND DISNEYLAND (did I mention that I got in for FREE?)
spac/wds (BYU Folk Dance) which entails the following:
4 weeks making over 25,000 children smile
dancing in over 55 dance shows
pranks
matchmaking
free food
laughter
tears
learning




My heart is full.

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer." ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

LOVE

As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. Henry David Thoreau

It strikes! one, two,
Three, four, five, six. Enough, enough, dear watch,
Thy pulse hath beat enough. Now sleep and rest;
Would thou could'st make the time to do so too;
I'll wind thee up no more.
Ben Jonson

That's all.

Grandma at 20

I am not ashamed. I'll tell you straight up.
I'm a grandma.

I recently went on a trip to Indiana with my dance team and was reminded of this lovely little trait of mine. My friends made fun of me the entire time and I received a new nick-name. Grand-ma.
I have been excited to be a grandma for a long long time. I'm excited to bake cookies all day long, and travel the world with my cute, old wrinkly husband. And have a huge dress-up box that my sweet grandchildren will love. I'm keeping all my dresses. And I'm going to spoil them silly. What does that even really mean? Spoil them until they're silly? I hope my grandchildren are silly. Oh, and I'm going to go on walks with my husband, hold his old hand and watch people play at the park. And watch old movies. And order out food. But I'll still cook a lot. And we'll have the missionaries over all the time.

I'll admit, florals are in right now. It's easier to find something I love. But somehow, even as I was in H&M, picking things that were clearly IN STYLE my friends still said I was a grandma.

Another story:
This weekend I was at my home, crocheting like I normally do during conference and my dad turns to me and asks, "Are you a grandma?"

MY DAD?

Oh well, I'm happy. And will be even more so when I can do this...