So...
Tanner and I have gotten into politics lately. I figured since I was 22 it was high time I registered to vote (still haven't done that-I need my name change applied to my driver's license. And yes, I realize I've been married for six months BUT our Christmas tickets were purchased under my maiden name...) So we have spent the last couple of weeks reading about the candidate's views, opinions and watching the debates. Quite entertaining and quite informative. I find that whenever I read about education I get worked up, especially when the word charter comes up...and people endorse it. That's just my opinion though. In any event, we're really enjoying all the articles circulating the news about Romney and Mormonisn, Gingrich (I can never say his name correctly) and cute Ron Paul. Ron Paul is seriously adorable in his 76 year old way...that being said I would like to know what he believes in rather than peace, friendship and a government that hardly governs.
Okay, so I really have nothing to say of importance...and I really don't know a whole lot yet. BUT I'm learning and I love it. I love coming home and diving into the news and reading about our country. I live in a great country. It may be rough around the edges and people may be dissatisfied and angry but America is great. We are so blessed to live here. We're blessed that people can run for office and that we get to vote. And our votes really do count for something. We won't be killed for thinking something contrary to the government officials. We're blessed.
Are you getting into the primary's? What are your thoughts?
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Therapy
Some friends came over tonight and we sat and talked for just a bit. They're great and they're getting married in March. We're excited for them. As we handed them some marriage books, (we are so weird) I realized that one of the best pieces of advice I ever heard from someone about marriage was from an old dance director. Edwin.
One afternoon during mid-semester tour in California, I was having my headache massaged out by our wonderful dance trainer. I'm just lying (laying?) there enjoying the quiet and in walks Ed. If you know him, you know he's not the quietest fellow (it's also one of the best things about him). He just walks up to the table where I'm lying (laying?) and randomly asks me, "can you and Tanner talk?" I was taken off guard a bit. "Yes," I questioningly replied. He responded with, "Good. Because you know, you really need to marry someone who is your therapist and who you can talk to about anything with. My wife is the best therapist in the world".
That took a little while to sink in. We were only engaged at this point. I soon learned how true this therapy stuff really was.
We all have problems. Really we do. Not everyone has the same problems, but we do have them. Therapists help you work through problems, especially trying to undo some crazy ways in which your brain has learned to process things. BUT let me tell you a little secret. My husband is a better therapist than that professional I once went to. Well okay, better in some ways but not all. Here's the reason why.
Communication is really important in relationships. The most important part of communication however is listening. We forget that sometimes. We learn about communication and meta-communication, different strategies of how to bring up sensitive topics and how to get our point across nicely. Most times we forget to learn how to listen. We are not always taught to listen with your heart and with the purpose of understanding. Get inside that person's brain. Feel what they are feeling and then don't try to fix it the moment a solution pops into your head. Good therapist's LISTEN. They write what they are hearing and they listen some more, they process and then when the person is done talking, they give one or two simple things for that person to do and then they build that person up and validate their feelings (it's called emotion coaching-I'll post about that another time).
So why does your spouse need to be a therapist? Because you have problems. And why do you need to be a therapist for your spouse? Because they will have problems. And you HAVE to learn how to listen.
One afternoon during mid-semester tour in California, I was having my headache massaged out by our wonderful dance trainer. I'm just lying (laying?) there enjoying the quiet and in walks Ed. If you know him, you know he's not the quietest fellow (it's also one of the best things about him). He just walks up to the table where I'm lying (laying?) and randomly asks me, "can you and Tanner talk?" I was taken off guard a bit. "Yes," I questioningly replied. He responded with, "Good. Because you know, you really need to marry someone who is your therapist and who you can talk to about anything with. My wife is the best therapist in the world".
That took a little while to sink in. We were only engaged at this point. I soon learned how true this therapy stuff really was.
We all have problems. Really we do. Not everyone has the same problems, but we do have them. Therapists help you work through problems, especially trying to undo some crazy ways in which your brain has learned to process things. BUT let me tell you a little secret. My husband is a better therapist than that professional I once went to. Well okay, better in some ways but not all. Here's the reason why.
Communication is really important in relationships. The most important part of communication however is listening. We forget that sometimes. We learn about communication and meta-communication, different strategies of how to bring up sensitive topics and how to get our point across nicely. Most times we forget to learn how to listen. We are not always taught to listen with your heart and with the purpose of understanding. Get inside that person's brain. Feel what they are feeling and then don't try to fix it the moment a solution pops into your head. Good therapist's LISTEN. They write what they are hearing and they listen some more, they process and then when the person is done talking, they give one or two simple things for that person to do and then they build that person up and validate their feelings (it's called emotion coaching-I'll post about that another time).
So why does your spouse need to be a therapist? Because you have problems. And why do you need to be a therapist for your spouse? Because they will have problems. And you HAVE to learn how to listen.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
New Years....
I just thought I should let you know that I have been 100% perfect flossing my teeth since Dec 31st. That was a whole week. 7 days of perfection. I am awesome. Ahem.
How are you doing with your goals?
How are you doing with your goals?
Monday, January 2, 2012
Ode to Firsts
This is a post where I may or may not talk about how much I love my husband. If you can handle that...read on.
I want to tell you about a few "firsts" I have experienced in the past couple of weeks.
1. I spent my first Christmas away from home. I was not even bothered by this fact for a couple of reasons. I really love my in-laws and Tanner's family aka my new family. They are fabulous and so fun and wonderful. I LOVE spending time with them. It was so great to be in New Hampshire with them for ten days. I was sad King Kone (the local soft-serve ice-cream) was mia but so excited to have everyone there for Christmas. Tanner's sister came from Hawaii with her husband and adorable 2-month old Austin and his brother's family came from Colorado. Oh ya, and they have an adorable 6 month boy...Kael. I could not keep my eyes or hands off these two cuties. They were so fun. We played lots of games, watched movies, wrapped presents, made killer gingerbread houses, caroled, made many fires and enjoyed wonderful family time. I feel so blessed to have married into the BEST family. Besides my own. So being with them was not that hard. Except on Christmas Eve Eve. I had a mini break down. It hit me that I wouldn't be running down the stairs with my siblings, or singing them the Christmas Eve lullaby's I've always done. I wasn't going to be eating cuties, mini sausages, or english muffins. I was sad and I wanted to be home for a second. But this was an exciting and wonderful first and I couldn't have been happier to wake up Christmas morning and give my husband presents. He is so easy to please. I stuffed a few parachute army men in his stocking, razzles, and a journal and he was overjoyed.
2. I am spending my first night alone since I got married. If you are married you may get this...and you'll understand when I say that I may not sleep well tonight. It's strange sleeping with someone of the opposite gender-especially when he wants the fan blowing on him throughout the night. It's even stranger when suddenly he's not there. So I hope he has fun camping and that he doesn't get hurt.
3. We bought our first car!!! WAHOO! We've been looking for months and we finally found one. It's a 1996 Toyota Camry and it is awesome condition. There is a little leak on the radiator but since my husband is really awesome and good at everything he does...he's fixing it.
4. It was the first time I came home and my siblings chose on multiple nights to hang out with their friend instead of me. I'm really having a hard time about it. I know I don't know the latest songs or wear hipster clothes, (except I did buy a $6 polar fleece jacket and G-man says I look cool in it) BUT I can play a mean monopoly.
5. First time I went to Banana Republic and didn't find something I love. This may be an okay thing....
It's been a great couple of weeks and I'm very excited for the new year. Many more first to come I'm sure :) Maybe I'll even post something to my food blog... :)
I want to tell you about a few "firsts" I have experienced in the past couple of weeks.
1. I spent my first Christmas away from home. I was not even bothered by this fact for a couple of reasons. I really love my in-laws and Tanner's family aka my new family. They are fabulous and so fun and wonderful. I LOVE spending time with them. It was so great to be in New Hampshire with them for ten days. I was sad King Kone (the local soft-serve ice-cream) was mia but so excited to have everyone there for Christmas. Tanner's sister came from Hawaii with her husband and adorable 2-month old Austin and his brother's family came from Colorado. Oh ya, and they have an adorable 6 month boy...Kael. I could not keep my eyes or hands off these two cuties. They were so fun. We played lots of games, watched movies, wrapped presents, made killer gingerbread houses, caroled, made many fires and enjoyed wonderful family time. I feel so blessed to have married into the BEST family. Besides my own. So being with them was not that hard. Except on Christmas Eve Eve. I had a mini break down. It hit me that I wouldn't be running down the stairs with my siblings, or singing them the Christmas Eve lullaby's I've always done. I wasn't going to be eating cuties, mini sausages, or english muffins. I was sad and I wanted to be home for a second. But this was an exciting and wonderful first and I couldn't have been happier to wake up Christmas morning and give my husband presents. He is so easy to please. I stuffed a few parachute army men in his stocking, razzles, and a journal and he was overjoyed.
2. I am spending my first night alone since I got married. If you are married you may get this...and you'll understand when I say that I may not sleep well tonight. It's strange sleeping with someone of the opposite gender-especially when he wants the fan blowing on him throughout the night. It's even stranger when suddenly he's not there. So I hope he has fun camping and that he doesn't get hurt.
3. We bought our first car!!! WAHOO! We've been looking for months and we finally found one. It's a 1996 Toyota Camry and it is awesome condition. There is a little leak on the radiator but since my husband is really awesome and good at everything he does...he's fixing it.
4. It was the first time I came home and my siblings chose on multiple nights to hang out with their friend instead of me. I'm really having a hard time about it. I know I don't know the latest songs or wear hipster clothes, (except I did buy a $6 polar fleece jacket and G-man says I look cool in it) BUT I can play a mean monopoly.
5. First time I went to Banana Republic and didn't find something I love. This may be an okay thing....
It's been a great couple of weeks and I'm very excited for the new year. Many more first to come I'm sure :) Maybe I'll even post something to my food blog... :)
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Christmas this year
I recently wrote a letter to a missionary friend about some thoughts I was having about this upcoming Christmas...I thought I would share.
I was thinking about something recently and I thought I would share. It has to do with the First Presidency Message in the Ensign this month. President Eyring says, "Most of all, sometimes it is hard for us to be sufficiently grateful for the greatest gifts we receive: the birth of Jesus Christ, His Atonement, the promise of resurrection, the opportunity to enjoy eternal life with our families, the Restoration of the gospel with the priesthood and its keys. Only with the help of the Holy Ghost can we begin to feel what those blessings mean for us and for those we love." Our home teachers shared that quote with us and it hit me so hard. I have been a bit worried this month because Tanner and I don't have the means to get each other presents that we want to or even gifts for our family members. Like I said, we're really poor. I've always had large Christmas'. That was the time in our family to be spoiled. I was having a hard time grasping the fact that we each only had a little bit of money to provide for each other and our many family members. I wanted so desperately for my husband to wake up on Christmas morning and to see things I had searched for and prepared for him but I knew that wasn't going to happen. It felt like that Christmas story involving a newly married couple, the woman cuts her hair to pay for a chain for her husbands watch. Then the husband sells his prized watch for hair combs for his wife's beautiful hair. As I read and re-read that quote I realized that the knowledge that I have about this gospel, the birth of my Savior, His Atonement and the blessings of the temple and eternal covenants with my Heavenly Father and my husband were all I needed. That was enough. Those were the gifts of our Savior and Heavenly Father. We are so blessed. I know that Christmas this year will not be big and I will not be able to give everything I wanted to to my husband. But I also know that my commitment to Jesus Christ is enough. I know my husband does the same and our little family is eternal. That is one of the greatest gifts of all. I will be together with my family for forever. I thank my Heavenly Father for that incredible gift. The Plan of Salvation is for our happiness and without or Savior, Jesus Christ, none of it would be possible.
Truly, we are so blessed. We watched The Grinch last night and it's message rang true-all you need is your family. Have a happy week! :)
I was thinking about something recently and I thought I would share. It has to do with the First Presidency Message in the Ensign this month. President Eyring says, "Most of all, sometimes it is hard for us to be sufficiently grateful for the greatest gifts we receive: the birth of Jesus Christ, His Atonement, the promise of resurrection, the opportunity to enjoy eternal life with our families, the Restoration of the gospel with the priesthood and its keys. Only with the help of the Holy Ghost can we begin to feel what those blessings mean for us and for those we love." Our home teachers shared that quote with us and it hit me so hard. I have been a bit worried this month because Tanner and I don't have the means to get each other presents that we want to or even gifts for our family members. Like I said, we're really poor. I've always had large Christmas'. That was the time in our family to be spoiled. I was having a hard time grasping the fact that we each only had a little bit of money to provide for each other and our many family members. I wanted so desperately for my husband to wake up on Christmas morning and to see things I had searched for and prepared for him but I knew that wasn't going to happen. It felt like that Christmas story involving a newly married couple, the woman cuts her hair to pay for a chain for her husbands watch. Then the husband sells his prized watch for hair combs for his wife's beautiful hair. As I read and re-read that quote I realized that the knowledge that I have about this gospel, the birth of my Savior, His Atonement and the blessings of the temple and eternal covenants with my Heavenly Father and my husband were all I needed. That was enough. Those were the gifts of our Savior and Heavenly Father. We are so blessed. I know that Christmas this year will not be big and I will not be able to give everything I wanted to to my husband. But I also know that my commitment to Jesus Christ is enough. I know my husband does the same and our little family is eternal. That is one of the greatest gifts of all. I will be together with my family for forever. I thank my Heavenly Father for that incredible gift. The Plan of Salvation is for our happiness and without or Savior, Jesus Christ, none of it would be possible.
Truly, we are so blessed. We watched The Grinch last night and it's message rang true-all you need is your family. Have a happy week! :)
Friday, December 2, 2011
Christmas Around the World
It's my fifth Christmas Around the World. I don't know how to survive college without it I guess.
Each week after Thanksgiving break I get little sleep, skip many classes and eat lots of crock pot meals (if I'm organized). I also get to spend time with wonderful friends, lots of Christmas tree fluffing and bags of ice wrapped around my calves. So worth it.
I'll probably cry tomorrow night knowing it's the last time I'll be looking up into the audience from the ginormous stage in the Marriott. It's beautiful really, the Christmas season, spending time preparing for an incredibly involved show and finally prancing around in those red boots.
The best part of Christmas Around the World, besides spending 10-11 hours in the Marriott center every day, are the devotionals. I was asked to share some thoughts with my performing team this evening and felt completely and utterly inspired by the Lord as I was preparing. What an incredible feeling. Here's what has been on my mind lately and I can't wait to share these simple truths with my team tonight.
I'll condense it to the main points for you :)
Trials and hardship will always come our way. The Lord just asks that we handle them with a smile. Easier said than done right? How are we supposed to see the light throughout these difficult times-especially at two a.m. with a paper due the next day and finals looming at the end of the dark tunnel. In the Book of Mormon there are countless examples of what righteous people do when they are faced with these seemingly dooming trials. They give thanks because no one can deliver them out of bondage except the Lord. President Henry B. Eyring shares wonderful insight when he says, "We must ask in prayer that God, by the power of the Holy Ghost, will help us see our blessings clearly even in the midst of our trials. He can help us by the power of the Spirit to recognize and be grateful for blessings we take for granted. What has helped me the most is to ask God in prayer, "Wouldst Thou please direct me to someone I can help for Thee? It is in helping God bless others that I have seen my own blessings more clearly" Me too.
He continues, " We all can make the choice to give thanks in prayer and to ask God for direction to serve others for Him--especially during this time of year when we celebrate the Savior's birth. God the Father gave His Son, and Jesus Christ gave us the Atonement, the greatest of all gifts and all giving (see D&C 14:7)"
I'm going to challenge you and my team tonight to not think of yourself. Especially as you are in the midst of your trials. Harder times always get better but they will get better faster if you think of others. Humble yourself and think less about yourself.
Merry Christmas Around the World!
Each week after Thanksgiving break I get little sleep, skip many classes and eat lots of crock pot meals (if I'm organized). I also get to spend time with wonderful friends, lots of Christmas tree fluffing and bags of ice wrapped around my calves. So worth it.
I'll probably cry tomorrow night knowing it's the last time I'll be looking up into the audience from the ginormous stage in the Marriott. It's beautiful really, the Christmas season, spending time preparing for an incredibly involved show and finally prancing around in those red boots.
The best part of Christmas Around the World, besides spending 10-11 hours in the Marriott center every day, are the devotionals. I was asked to share some thoughts with my performing team this evening and felt completely and utterly inspired by the Lord as I was preparing. What an incredible feeling. Here's what has been on my mind lately and I can't wait to share these simple truths with my team tonight.
I'll condense it to the main points for you :)
Trials and hardship will always come our way. The Lord just asks that we handle them with a smile. Easier said than done right? How are we supposed to see the light throughout these difficult times-especially at two a.m. with a paper due the next day and finals looming at the end of the dark tunnel. In the Book of Mormon there are countless examples of what righteous people do when they are faced with these seemingly dooming trials. They give thanks because no one can deliver them out of bondage except the Lord. President Henry B. Eyring shares wonderful insight when he says, "We must ask in prayer that God, by the power of the Holy Ghost, will help us see our blessings clearly even in the midst of our trials. He can help us by the power of the Spirit to recognize and be grateful for blessings we take for granted. What has helped me the most is to ask God in prayer, "Wouldst Thou please direct me to someone I can help for Thee? It is in helping God bless others that I have seen my own blessings more clearly" Me too.
He continues, " We all can make the choice to give thanks in prayer and to ask God for direction to serve others for Him--especially during this time of year when we celebrate the Savior's birth. God the Father gave His Son, and Jesus Christ gave us the Atonement, the greatest of all gifts and all giving (see D&C 14:7)"
I'm going to challenge you and my team tonight to not think of yourself. Especially as you are in the midst of your trials. Harder times always get better but they will get better faster if you think of others. Humble yourself and think less about yourself.
Merry Christmas Around the World!
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