My own worst enemy

I'm frustrated right now. I have just spent the last half hour trying to learn a Chinese dance for the back up folk dance team. I have to teach seven girls this dance tomorrow and I have never seen it performed. Chinese is confusing. This dance involves long sleeves that the girls wave around while they are jumping to and fro. I can't watch a movie of this and figure it out. I can't see which foot they start on to save my life and with their arms going and heads waving I just get frustrated. So after trying to figure out step after step and only getting about 6 counts of 8 written down, my body still can not do it. How am I supposed to teach these girls a dance I am just trying to teach myself from a little movie where the women look about half an inch tall? I got overwhelmed. I sat on the floor and cried. I sat there beating myself up and telling myself that I would never be able to learn this dance, that it was an impossible task. Then I cried some more. My thoughts turned to my awful dancing and awful teaching, about an experience I had teaching this week where a student blew up in my face. And then I was mad at myself for thinking those things. I was mad I wasn't being positive and that I wasn't handling the situation the way I should. I was mad that I wasn't being stronger, more resilient and that I was giving up. I was mad that I was handling the stress I was feeling wrongly. I hated myself for the way I was acting.

I remembered that I was my own worst enemy. My mother reminds me of this often. I am just so so good at beating myself up. I am so good at thinking negatively about myself. Then I am so good at saying that I am a bad person because I am beating myself up, because that's wrong isn't it?

What is the solution for this? How do I not make myself spiral out of control? I know it's okay to be overwhelmed, stressed and feeling discouraged but I can not let that stop me from progressing. This life is for growth and progression and I can not beat myself up for not progressing at the pace I think I should be. I can't get mad that I'm not handling a situation the way I wish to. I can try again tomorrow. I can take a break from that silly Chinese dance and learn it later. I am still good. I am good regardless of how long it takes me to learn that dance. I am good regardless of how I handle stress in my life. I am good even though I don't always have a control of my self-degrading thoughts. That does not mean I am bad, or worthless. I am a daughter of God and I am good.